DIARY OF A JACKSONITE 💙🖤 Nmeso✨✨✨

Nmeso

025 Jacksonite

Record 1, Friday.

Today, I got hit by a simple puzzle of a question, "Who are you?"

Nmeso was my first response until the speaker who wanted me to engage my logical faculties asked further, "If you're asked to describe your personality, what can you say?"

It's a puzzle and I hate leaving puzzles unsolved so here goes.

Hi. My name is Nmesomachinyereuwa. I'm a student of Mass communication... (Pauses) Okay. That aside, if I were to describe myself, I would say I'm the beauty in "Black beauty." So, yeah. I'm a fine girl wey love Jesus. Emphasis on wey love Jesus 'cause I'm a Christian.

Digging the surface, I would like to say I'm an antisocial socialist. I do love having intelligent discussions and socializing but a part of me keeps asking, what's the point when people can be so difficult?

I love talking so I can't think of myself as an introvert. I also can't consider myself an extrovert either because why go through that stress of engaging people you can simply avoid? Why tolerate their nonsense? Anyway, I refuse to sit on the fence so I'm not an ambivert. Oxford is going to have to come up with a new word for my condition.

At school, I get the impression that people take me as proud and arrogant but it's my nature. I'm happy with my personality but I'm aware of its flaws. The one that bites me most is that I can't really keep long term relationships. It's always short term friendships for me. Just think of all that stress of keeping it close with a childhood friend who doesn't go to the same university as you. To me, it's hard but I know that relationships are important, and... (Nods) I want someone... Someone I can call a pal, a bestie, paddie, you name it. It's actually cute, this till-death-do-us-part companionship, and I'm not talking about marriage. I see and admire people who share this raw bond called friendship and I think, I want one too.

(Sighs) And that, my friends, is Nmeso. Puzzle solved.

Record 2, Tuesday.

Flipping the pages of my pretty brown school textbook, I feel pretty relieved. The material is very comprehensive! I'm all up for challenging books but what's the point when your students don't understand a thing and feel like it's a waste of their 4k?

Kudos to the lecturer who has kept me glued to my bed grinning madly. Listen to this awesome quote I stumbled upon by Somerset Maugham, "There are two types of obscurity that you find in writers. One is due to negligence and the other to wilfulness." Just replace writers with people and that's a life changing proverb!

And they said ignorance is bliss. (Scoffs) Knowledge is paradise.

Record 3, Thursday.

It's such a beautiful feeling conversing with people who know what they want and soar towards it with infectious drive and zeal. People that are actually aware of their purpose. People that don't just come to class to waste clean clothes and hard-earned money.

I'm grateful Ebuka is my coursemate. He proved me wrong in our first year that  all the guys in my class are brainless. His views on the media theory today were very intriguing. I recall one of his points, "If the media message isn't a bullet, then it's a force of friction. Eventually, it will wear off the rigid culture of the society." You bet I told him to hold on to that statement. It would make a good thesis, even a theory.

These are the kinds of conversation I like; meaningful, productive! We weren't alone in our theoretical argument. His friend, Esther listened and talked a great deal.

(Pause. Shifts comfortably on her bed.) I have to admit, listening to her reminded me of my purpose in the Jackson building. Whether by omission or commission, I was there to be the best. My parents never settle for less anyway and that has rubbed off on me well.

Back to Esther, I'm happy to change my negative distant impression of her. Although she's much too clingy for my approval, she's definitely a Jacksonite who knows what she wants and she'd make anyone a good friend.

Record 4, Wednesday.

Today promised to be a good day. (Gesticulates) The sun was bright. The sky was blue. I woke up feeling pretty, but had it all ruined in Mac 351 class.

The lecture was essentially a repetition of our second year course but we made the lecturer look like he was speaking Greek. I had to wonder, are these "coursemates" really in 300 level?

To make it worse, I sat beside a girl who kept yelling that she didn't understand but bent to press her phone each time the lecturer wasn't looking.

(Heaves an irritated sigh.) After the lecture, I had to tell her to sit up and take life seriously. I used three words to prevent myself from drowning her with my opinion. She ignored me, just as I expected.

On leaving the classroom, I had to make sure that it was a classroom, a room of learning, not playing dress up and "Make a friend." I know our capacities vary academically but come on! At least pretend to be serious.

Record 5, Sunday.

Otteoke. Wae? Jinjja? Ahjussi. Kaja. Ppali ppali. Naega? Micheosseo? Kwaenchana? Arraseo.

Ommo, ommo, ommo.

(Looks at the camera and rolls her eyes. Smiles.) That was a display of the aftermath of a good Kdrama. Doctor Slump was memorable.

Did anyone notice that watching Kdrama is a really great way to learn an international language? Just look at my vocabulary. I'm almost fully equipped to have a full conversation with my dream guy, Song Kang!

Record 6, Friday.

Lately, I've been perplexed about my terms of friendship with Esther. We have been, um, close since that day of our conversation. I felt she wanted to take a step closer and a foot over my defensive line when she invited me to her place so we could... "Hang out." I turned down the offer because I had my phone and earpiece in my hand. Weirdly, I felt bad about that and worried over her feeling slighted and taking me for a proud snub.

That was until tonight when an anonymous message speculated that Ebuka and I were in an intimate relationship. I was really amused. I also wonder why people rely on shady means to express their cowardice. If she smells, tell her so. She won't beat you and aren't you doing it in her best interest?

Anyway, I doubt Esther liked the message. She's head over heels for Ebuka and no doubt wished the message tagged Ebuka and her, not me. I predict she won't look at me in class anymore. I can tell when a girl really likes a guy. That's not just because of the Kdrama I consume. It's an added advantage of being identified as a quiet member of a classroom. People don't know how much you observe.

Well, that was fast. I had hoped that she was the till-death-do-us-part friend. (Pinches her nose for a moment. Inhales.) Last I checked, I'm still breathing.

Record 7, Saturday.

As the boom of the speakers rock my window this evening, I'm wondering, what's the fuss about parties?

The publicity for this concert was superb, almost intrusive. The hype was in a higher level.Yet, here I am looking from my window at young men and women who spent a fortune on tickets to waste clean clothes and dance to music they've heard over and over before.

I'm not being judgey but in my opinion... (Scowls as loud cheers interrupt her. She shrugs) What do I need parties for when I have my earpiece and a cool Christian playlist? My bed is the best dancefloor and if I feel thirsty, there's a bag of water nearby.

Record 8, Monday.

Today, my skin itched with vexation for six hours. I had to sit the class next to a "baddie" wearing skinny red jeans that looked like they were part of a rag collection. It was a cold day and she had to pull off her sweater and put it on her legs. It took everything in me to not snap at her.

Why on Earth would you dress to discomfort yourself? I mean, you're obviously uncomfortable. Then again, her clothes were so tight she itched the silky sleeves of her blouse so many times that I lost count. Your body is supposed to dictate your style and not the other way. So why wear clothes smaller than your frame or unfit for your bodily assets? Just dress comfortably!

Also, my prediction was right. Esther barely looked at me as we passed through the same door.

Record 9, Tuesday.

Esther finally talked to me. That was after I approached her and made eye contact. She flinched and told me that she hadn't seen me in a while. I then told her that I had practiced a lot of acting since I was little and I could tell when someone was putting up an act. (Aside) You can't fool a drama queen. (Strokes her braids stylishly)

Esther was surprised when I talked about the anonymous issue without a soothing preamble. She smiled when I explained to her that my idea of a boyfriend was nowhere in Jackson building. (Pauses thoughtfully.) That smile... It was so much like Ae-Gyeo's when Jae-Wan told her, "Saranghae." It's obvious. She adores him! She's always flowery when he's near. Her nose squinches like a Kdrama heroine whenever she smiles at him. She walks with a skip in her step too.

Well, Ebuka's a lucky guy. And to think that that anonymous coward had paired me with him. Where have you seen me all lovey-dovey? Ew.

Record 10, Wednesday.

Dear Disney, some cartoons are best left as cartoons. Thank you.

Record 11, Friday.

Today, Esther asked me about one thing I had done and was proud of. Strange? It's one of those questions you ask a person you're trying to get closer to, I guess.

I reflected a little and told her, "I broke a bad habit." I guess she had expected something else like winning a Spelling Bee or graduating as the overall student in secondary school. I didn't fancy her expectations though. I had broken a flawful chain! That was something to be proud of, and I couldn't wait to break another one.

Record 12, Sunday.

Esther told me to do a motivational podcast. She's trying to help me "develop myself." To please her, I wrote a little piece. Here goes...

YOU'RE NOT DUMB, JUST LAZY 🌚 

"I'm not the book type. My brain feels hazy." _( Laughs in fog )_ Crazy stuff you hear everyday.

Most people and students love to make this their truth. There's a league of young people in the 'school na scam' train, when their real fear is how to sit and study. ( _Shudders_ )

Everyone has the capacity to be exceptional, to be the best, to be a winner. But it's as Kanayo would say, "Sacrifices must be made." 

A little less sleep, a little more time to read.

A little less pride, a little more  close you get to the top student.

A little less talk, a little more reasoning. 

A little less excuse, a little more work.

Dear student, come to reality already! School no be scam. You're just too lazy to work. And if you say it's your village people, that's why the have the Almighty God factor. ( _Hallelujah pastor_  )

So Aunty, as much as TikTok isn't all bad, your GP dey 2.4 🌚

Uncle, Messi doesn't know you exist and he probably left soccer school with a 4.5 CGPA

So get your asses up and work! Find out what works best for you, take short breaks and eat well. 

You'll see the benefits later 

Ciao

I know, I know. I'm a sucker for seriousness. I'm really happy though. Esther grows dearer to me everyday. This is what real friendship is all about; understanding, accepting and fanning the sparks of goodness in someone's soul. Esther is pretty good at that. I hope that rubs off on me too, as the days go by.

Record 13, Another Sunday.

1 Peter 1:23-24 says, "One thing remains sure..the word of God is not changing. It is forever sure." That's the beautiful summary of my lesson at fellowship today. 

Also...

Life is a puzzle. Time is a complexity. People are mysteries. The truth is, we'll all understand one day. This puzzle, complexity and the mysteries. Just choose what is best for you and you'll be happy.

THE END