DIARY OF A JACKSONITE 💙🖤 Anastasia 💜

Featuring Agugua Anastasia Chiazokam

Profile: Jacksonite, class of 2025.

"Lights, camera, action!"

Ifeanyi gave the call and his colleague leaned and peered into the camera while Ifeanyi looked ahead.

Seated before the crew in PG building were two Jacksonites. Nick, the first, was the tall, dark and handsome leader of the 025 media team. He was the host of the show, Talk with 025. To fit into his role, he was dressed in his departmental uniform. Also, it was a Monday.

Stasia however was dressed in black palazzo pants and a beautiful vintage shirt. Her hairdo was a bunch of colourful plaits packed in a ponytail. Her dark rimmed glasses rested on her pretty nose and her caramel complexion gleamed (especially at her forehead) as the light of the camera touched her face.

To the camera, Nick smiled and said, "Hello, dear viewer and welcome to another session of the show, Talk with 025. I am your humble host, Nick. With me is a beautiful young woman who has travelled the ends of the Earth and honoured kings and ambassadors with her beauty. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Agugua Anastasia."

"Yooo!" Stasia smiled and gave the camera a peace sign. Nick chuckled. "Hello, Jacksonites and everyone viewing. I'm happy to be here," she said.

"We're happy to have you. Stasia, can you tell us a little about yourself?"

"Certainly. I'm Stasia. I'm from Imo state. I am the second of three daughters. I love my family very much. I also love country music."

"Really?" Nick cut in.

"Yeah. I'm also a martial artist. Taekwondo is my art. I hate school..."

"What?" Nick interjected.

"Yep. What else? Oh, yeah. My favourite food of recent is bread and cheese," Stasia concluded with a flip of her loose braids.

"That's lovely. Permit me to dwell on your art. When and why did you pick up martial arts, Taekwondo to be specific."

"Well, ever since I was little, I've been doing taekwondo. Why? I love it. I had a passion for it ever since I watched Karate Kid starring Jaden Smith. I chose taekwondo because that was the only martial arts available for practice in my school."

"You don't say. So, if I tried to steal your phone, you'll kick me," Nick said with an amused grin.

"Mmhmm. A jumping kick and a round house kick at once. No one touches my baby," she said and they laughed.

"Of course. I'm not ready to lose any teeth yet," Nick said with a wave of his hands.

"Aww, but gapteeth will fit you," Stasia cut in.

"Stasia."

"Yes, darling?"

"See this one." They laughed. He continued, "Last semester, you participated in an international sports competition, EKAT 2023. You were among the talented few who represented the University of Nigeria, Nigeria and the Jacksonites," Stasia shifted in her seat, "in an international setting. How was the experience like, leaving sapaland for one of the most powerful countries in the world?"

"It was great. I met people from all over the world; Bahrain, Iran, Iraq, Vietnam, China... Did I mention Bahrain? I also met new people; Anna, Lily from Uzbekistan, Maria, Tendekai," she smiled warmly. "Then I fought taekwondo and had fun," she shrugged.

"You had fun," Nick repeated. "I heard you guys crashed the closing ceremony at Russia. I saw the clip. Can we have it played for the viewers?" The last question was directed to Ifeanyi who bent and whispered to his colleague.

"Ahh. Trust us, nah. Naija no dey carry last. We were the life of the party," Stasia said with so much glee.

"How was the trip to Russia?"

"It was nice. We were so excited. I didn't believe I was going to Russia until the day before the trip. It was the journey back that I hated. It was terrible! Yeah. We were in the air for two freaking days. Also, the Russian food was not to my taste. I would have starved to death if not for their burger, cola, fruits, pew pew pew..."

"Pee what?"

"Pew pew pew. It's a Russian drink." Nick made a ridiculous expression and Stasia laughed.

"Dear Stasia, before we go over to the questions our viewers have lined up for you, I would like to ask. What is your reaction to the great feat you just achieved?"

"It's awesome," Stasia shrugged. "I got a hundred new friends I never knew I had. I got posted by the president of the department. The SUG president has my number! The dean personally took notice of my existence (and he didn't ask me to drop out). So, you can say, I'm living the life.

"Hmmm," Nick nodded slowly.

"Yeah, but it wasn't always like this," Stasia said, and for the first time, she put on a moody face.

Stasia's Diary

💙🖤

 _May 12th_ 

Last semester was really crazy. It was all shades of good, bad, terrible and wonderful. I actually had the chance to evaluate myself on my resolutions I made when I first took a picture in my departmental uniform. I'll give myself the credit; I did pretty well.

I always thought my first semester in the den was the craziest and coolest; you know, meeting new people, getting lost in GS building, having my bed seized three times. That was until semester 2 which was rather eventful.

At first, there was peace and security. Then, things fell apart one happy night. I was having the time of my life with my one true love, Eve. My sis was having a bad time in FUTO, so I was cheering her up with descriptions of how better off she was than me.

"I have five boring classes a day," Evie moaned.

"My poor baby. I have six. Make that seven although I've never been for a GS class," I said and she wrinkled her nose at me. She looked really ugly in this video call 😂

"Well," Evie said with a sudden burst of energy. Then she whined, "I have to wake up at 5 every morning. 5!"

"Lucky. I don't sleep at all," I countered. She yelled a curse and I laughed.

That's when I saw the message. My class was having an anonymous night and I guessed it would be savage. I just didn't guess that my haters would be there. Guess what someone sent.

"Y'all think Stasia is really who she says she is. Don't be fooled. She's nothing but a broken piece of trash struggling with rape trauma."

Jeez 💀 I literally had to end my chat with my beloved to understand the situation. My course mates didn't help matters. Tony even called me out to ask if it was true. That's rough enough for anyone. The worst part for me was the feeling I got of who the person was each time I reread the message.

"It can't be. It isn't," I muttered to myself. "Is it...?"

 _May 15th_ 

I'm feeling it again. That oh, so despised feeling. I hate it. I hate it and I'm feeling it again. I hate...

 _May 16th_ 

I'm hurt, but I have to write. I'll keep this as a relic to remember the day Trust died.

Today, I finally faced my fears and went to school. I dolled up (I wasn't going to look like my ruined reputation) and walked slowly from Mary Slessor hall to FASA building. I wasn't going for the classes. I was going to confront Lucy.

I met her at her favourite spot, the Achebe quadrangle. I smiled at her and stretched out my hands to hug her but she said, "Cut the sh't. I'm the one."

I looked at her calmly, almost expressionless. I never thought it would take this turn. I had actually planned a more diplomatic approach. I was going to start with, "Hi" and then, "Why the f'ck did you write that anonymous, b'tch!"

Would I be being too dramatic if I said that my heart suddenly turned to a thundercloud?

For a moment I felt out of breath, and before my eyes, Lucy faded into a mist. I shook my head, blinked hard, took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Lucy sat before me looking amused and spiteful.

"Why?" I asked. "I trusted you like a sister. I opened my heart to you. Why?"

"The world needs to know the pretender behind the glasses," she said and touched the tip of my glasses. Then she gave a contemptuous smile and catwalked away. I made a mental note to wash my glass frames with holy water.

This isn't a stranger. This Lucy was my friend. When I was still shakey on my feet during my first days in the den, it was Lucy who stood by my side. I was so confident she would be my friend, my school sis, my Pearl come back to life. I was wrong.

I left for my hostel humming under my breath, "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille."

 _May 20th_ 

If there's a million coming at me

I'm gonna fight them all

I won't be scared of the storm

Cos I know you've got my back.

 _May 26th_ 

You may think that after all this time, the anonymous scandal would have been forgotten. Not only is it fresh in everyone's memory, more stories are also surfacing!

That's all thanks to this stupid girl in my class (No apologies). Her name's Perky. She is such a gossip. She literally derives joy in ruining people's lives and guess what she calls it. Investigative journalism! My God 😭

I'm surprised that with the school stress, she still has time to poke her nose into everything that doesn't concern her. I'm her topic of interest now. If it's not about how I dressed to class on a particular day, it's about why I stay alone or what I ordered at Glorious restaurant!

Wait till I tell you about how she sends me annoying questions in my dm. Talk about, "Are you the legitimate child of your parents?" Wtf!

 _May 27th_ 

Today is a day I would love to remember forever. I'll keep it, like a scar, in my heart and in these pages.

Perky is certainly not a quitter. She took it too far today when she took a pic of me and Chris talking. Then she posted it and added the caption, "Is love in the air, or is it?"

That was just one of my problems. I actually had my heart broken today by a guy I never knew was my boyfriend. I often warned myself about getting too close to anyone. Unfortunately, I let Chris slip through my defensive post and shoot his shot to my heart. I didn't even know how much I liked the guy until today when he told me he wanted us to stop hanging out.

"You speak as if I'm on your tail every second," I said with pretentious nonchalance.

He made a look that said, "That's what you're doing now."

"Did you believe the trash Lucy wrote about me?" I asked a little hurt that even Chris should give me the cold shoulder. Everyone else had, except my class rep, and that's only because he has to collect my assignments. There were a couple of other people but what was trust to me anymore?

"What trash?" Chris chuckled.

"Don't play with me. You know what I'm talking about," I raised my voice slightly. I struggled to compose myself but my anxiety was back. Chris seemed to inch farther away behind my frames.

"This isn't about Lucy. It's my decision. I just can't have you plaguing me..."

My eyes widened. I was a plague to him, and he was a brother to me.

"Sorry but it's over, Stacy," he said.

"It's not over because there was never anything," I retorted a little too sharply and walked away. He called my name, "Stacy," in that manner that always reminded me of my darling late brother.

I knew I'd regret it forever, but I still looked back. Maybe, just maybe this was all a dream. The gleam in Lucy's malicious eyes woke me up. She held Chris's hand and led him away. That's when I knew that it was over. I would never trust again.

 _May 28th_ 

No lyric of any sad song can express how I feel right now.

 _May 29th_ 

"I loved you, but I didn't know...

"Until you let me go."

 _June 9th_ 

Sorry I haven't been writing much. I have a new hobby; crying. I do it every night, every moment no one's looking and every time I remember that the two people in the world I trusted, besides my family, left my world. I wasn't crying that I had lost them. I was crying that I had let them in in the first place.

My Theo (Mr Theodore Chukwu, my therapist) was right. I was scared of losing people I cared about. The thought of everyone disappearing into a cloud of mist and leaving me alone frightened me to death. Reminds me of how I developed anxiety disorder in the first place.

As painful as these days seem, I won't give up. If I have nothing to live for, at least I have my parents to make proud and my sister to take care of, even if she is the older one.

Time to take that painful step and live for the people that truly love me. Mac 211 assignment, here I come!

 _June 14th_ 

"Show up or loose a leg."

Those were the words of Sabunim that drove me from my classroom to the stadium. I had been skipping practice sessions for some time. I resolved to attend this one to save my hot limbs and because I thought some training would be good for my nerves.

I had a nice time with my amigas, kicking wood and yelling at Sabunim's commands. For some reason, the dude was harder on us.

"I bet it's because of the tournament happening in Benin city," Tonia said as we stretched after training.

"I thought that's just for taekwondo gold medalists," Mira said and twisted her hips.

"Baby, my belt may be black, but my taekwondo is gold," Tonia replied and stretched her leg in a 180° vertical posture.

"Ooh, let me get in on that," Mira said and we all stretched and compared who was the best and looked hottest at it.

"Hi, Josh," Tonia said and smiled at the three basketball brothers who walked up to us.

"Sup, ladies," Josh said with a beautiful bow and Ade and Chuks smirked at us.

"Great. Good luck on your upcoming tournament in Russia," Tonia said with a beam.

"Thanks. Hey Stasia. Looking great."

I looked up from my stretches and saw Josh give me his dashing smile.

"Thanks," I mumbled as they left. Tonia and Mira gave me looks I would have giggled at if I wasn't still hurt. I would have gladly joined them to giggle and titter about the basketball brothers but I didn't fancy any of them anymore. The fact that a rich and talented hotshot like Josh had taken note if me didn't even interest me. Chris, what did you do to me? 😭

What else is there to write about? Oh, yeah. My odogwu, my papi, my sugar pie sent me some goodies. I spent my evening spoiling myself with sugar. Now I feel so sick my roomies are making fun of me!

It's all good. I thank God for today. It was really a breath of fresh air to my stuffy mood. I literally didn't think of Chris and Lucy for hours. Oh, no. I just did 🤧

Buenos dias. Till I write again 💜

 _June 17th_ 

The fact that I can squeeze out some time to write during this choked up semester surprises me. This school is really after my life, and I'm not just quoting a meme.

Anyway, I have to write because my odogwu called. He is just the best gift to me, really. I complained to him nonstop and he reminded me that I am a princess. God's princess. I really needed that daddy-daughter time, cos what? I am going to be up all night writing this stupid assignment that I know nothing on. Then tomorrow, I have a presentation, three classes I can't afford to miss and more training with the taekwondo team.

Well, keep your head up, Princess, so your crown won't fall.

 _June 26th_ 

I'm broken, and nothing can fix me

I'm crushed, but you still don't miss me.

 _June 27th_ 

Omoor, keeping a diary is really hard! Well, I won't give up. I'll fill these pages with memories and lock my heart inside. Then I'll give the key to the one who deserves me on our wedding night 😌

Don't mind how mysterious I sound, hubby 😌 I actually had a bad day. Just when I thought that 025 had had enough of me, Perky comes to my dm and asks me about Pearl. Yesterday was her memorial. I had posted her with the most flowery epistle I could think of (she deserves the best). I really miss her. If I had known she would leave me after I left FGGS, I would never have left. I would stay and read SS 3 allover again just to see her face, happy and healthy.

No tears, princess, no tears.

Back to Perky. I ignored her question about Pearl because her memory was too precious to be desecrated by that gossip. Forget how concerned she sounded. You don't just tarnish someone's image and continue as if nothing happened. What happened to feelings, eh?

My heart races each time I think that Perky will post a picture of my angel in that group chat. I won't take it likely. I might even unleash 15 years of taekwondo practice on her.

Yes, Pearl. Your darling still loves you. She would gladly die for you too. You were the last of your kind; the last angel in human form. When you left this world, you took your light with you. I have to be angry with you, love, cos you took my peace as well.

 _June 30th_ 

Sabunim! 😫

 _August 3rd_ 

Guess what, future husband 😌 Your baby qualified for the Taekwondo tournament! I'm officially going to Russia. I can't believe it though, even though Josh told me time and time again to believe it. He and his team are set to go in a week. He showed me his new parka. He even held my hand! Can you believe that, hubby? 😩

The news was worth it. After having my leg broken by Sabunim, this was something beautiful to show for it. My dad was super proud of me. My mum showered me with praises in Igbo and my sis... She sent me a creepy picture of Vladimir Putin with the caption, "Come and be annihilated." Like what??? Eve baby, just say you love me and you don't want me to go 😂 But nooo, someone just can't use the "L" word. I don't mean loser.

 _August 7th_ 

It's no longer a secret I'm going to Russia next week. Word got round to my class rep (I suspect Perky) and a pic of me and the squad in our new tracksuit got to the 025 group chat. The caption was a bit startling.

"Let us celebrate one of our own who will be going to Russia to represent Nigeria, UNN and the 025 Jacksonites!"

Wtf? I was going there to represent myself and my family.

The reactions under the message were a bit startling. So many of them, even friends of Lucy who used to be friends of mine.

That's not even the craziest thing that happened to me today. Chris actually walked up to me and gave me a hug. I would have kicked him but I had my pretty Gucci sneakers on. I didn't want to ruin the leather.

"Who's on who's tail now?" I asked sarcastically.

"Stacy, let that go. Did you really believe me? Okay. I forgive you. Are we cool now?

I... You... Men are scum. They will, I repeat, they will stain your white.

"Chris, if you ever come near me again, I will break your arm. That's a promise."

That's a threat and I meant it. He could disappear into thin air for all I cared. Like, who does what he just did! He seemed to get the message for he walked away to nurse his wounded pride. At least, that's what I think.

In case you're wondering, no. Lucy didn't show up to apologize or forgive me. I hardly remembered her when I saw the swarm of course mates dying to hold my hand and call me friend. I was so happy 😄

Don't worry. I haven't forgotten my lesson. I'll be careful not to let anyone too close. Can I make Goody an exception though? She's really sweet 💜

 _August 11th_

Exams are finally over. I'm not running back home to papi as planned. I'm leaving for Russia.

Leaving for Russia... When I say it, it doesn't exactly sound possible. Am I really leaving for Russia? Nah. Sabunim is just waiting for the right time to cancel the trip. Like, how can I be leaving for Russia to fight taekwondo?

The clips Josh sent me of him and his team at the opening ceremony didn't convince me that it wasn't a sham. If it did anything at all, it revealed to me that Josh has the cutest smile.

Future hubby, I'm afraid you're gonna wrestle real hard to get my heart from Josh, cos what? 😍

 _August 15th_

Fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array. 🙏🏻

Dear God, I've come this far because of you. Lead your princess the rest of the way.

 _August 17th_

Today, Tonia, Mira and I went to the market to get our Ankara for the trip. We also got our new tracksuits. The best part of today...

My odogwu came 😭

 _August 19th_

A hundred miles...

Two hundred miles...

I'm far away!

I'll be back

But until then

I'm far away!

August 31

I died

A time ago, I actually died

Now I am resurrected

Because I am...

Anastasia 💜